Saturday, October 31, 2009

Dead Politicians

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's field.

The old farmer heard the tragic crash so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Hot Dawg Award

Bob and Bess of Plain Ole Bob have given me the 'Hot Dawg Blogger' award. I so love awards and this is a new one for me. Thank you so much Bob and Bess for this honor. Big hugs to the both of you. Here's what they have to say about this award:

Suicide

A blonde and a brunette are sitting in a bar and watching the 11:00 P.M. news. A man is standing on the ledge of a high-rise building, contemplating suicide.

The brunette says to the blonde: "I'll bet you $20.00 that the man jumps off that building and commits suicide."

Thursday, October 29, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

A Halloween Tale

It was almost Halloween and Anthony was deep in his yearly depression. He just hated Halloween. Truth be known he was afraid of Halloween because he was traumatized as a pubescent preteen. Every year his mother would decide how he was to dress up for Halloween. Four years ago, she decided to dress him up as a Smurf, followed by Tinky Winky the purple Tella Tubbie the year after.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Entrecard Top Droppers

As most of you know I quit Entrecard and deleted my account.

I missed Entrecard so I opened a new account and started all over.

I just want to say thank you to my top droppers. Thank you!

The Boat Launch

Greg just bought a new boat, and decided to take her for the maiden voyage. This was his first boat, and he wasn't quite sure of the correct procedure for launching it off a ramp, but figured it couldn't be too hard.

He consulted his local boat dealer for advice, but they just said, "don't let the trailer get too deep when you are trying to launch the boat."

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

A Fairy Tale

A fairy tale is a type of short story that typically features European folkloric fantasy characters, such as fairies, goblins, elves, trolls, dwarves, giants, witches, mermaids, or gnomes, and usually magic or enchantments. Fairy tales may be distinguished from other folk narratives such as legends (which generally involve belief in the veracity of the events described) and explicitly moral tales, including beast fables.  Source: Wikipedia

Monday, October 26, 2009

Awards Monday

Bing (Pink Lady) of Sheepish Thoughts gave me a ton of very cool awards. Some I have, but some I don't. It doesn't matter if I have them or not, because they come from Bing and that makes them very, very special.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are the greatest. Big hug.

Awww...Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Story Game

The Story Game is still in progress. It's the post right below this one.

What's happening with Anthony and his fear of Halloween? What have my readers done to this story? What craziness has taken place? Is this Halloween story happy or sad? Is it twisted all out of shape as I hope it will be? Is there a cake? There usually is if Empress Bee plays along.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Story Game

It's time to play The Story Game again. I just want you to have something entertaining to do if you swing by for a visit this weekend while I'm off boating. So play nice. Okay?

Here's how it works. I'll start a story. You continue it in comments. Each commenter picks up where the last left off. Next week I'll give it an ending and post our story with the links to everyone who participated under the heading, "Contributing Authors". You can play as many times as you want and the game will run all weekend. Thanks for playing along.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Comment Game

It's time to play the comment game again. We are off to the boat for the weekend (what else is new). Now play nice okay, and have a terrific weekend.

Here's how it goes: I'll start the game off at the bottom of this post by choosing two words or phrases, like coffee or tea, and which ever one you prefer you choose. You can also explain why. When you have done that you do two new words or phrases for the next commenter to choose from. Feel free to come back as often as you like. Just have fun. If someone derails the game will one of you put it back on track? Thanks.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Maxine's Wisdom

Why would you ever want to marry your first husband?

It's like finding sour milk, putting it in the trash for a couple of days. And then wondering... "Gee, I wonder if it will taste better now."

And for the guys...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Animal Love...

If I Didn't Have a Dog... Or Cat...

I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety.

My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated.

All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture and cars would be free of hair.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Ask Mike

Why Men do not Write Advice Columns.

Dear Mike,

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Awww...Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

One Lovely Blog Award

Klivengood of iTravel gave me the One Lovely Blog Award. Thank you so very much.

This was indeed a very pleasant surprise.

Of course there are rules:

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Zingers...

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat.... she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Bay Cruise

On Monday, October 5th we headed out of Benicia toward San Francisco.

Here's a couple of pictures of our view of San Francisco as we were heading toward Raccoon Strait and Sausalito.

As you can see it was hazy, but I'm never disappointed in seeing the San Francisco skyline by water. It's spectacular to say the least.

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Taliban Soldier

A fleeing Taliban soldier, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Explaination...

A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman, and she was very upset.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Ghet

A New York judge is presiding over the divorce proceedings of a Jewish couple. When the final papers have been signed and the divorce is complete the woman thanks the judge and says, “Now I have to arrange for a Ghet.”

The judge inquires what she means by a Ghet.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

You're HOT!

Today is National 'HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE HOT' Day!

Send this to someone gorgeous, but don't send it back to me, I've been getting this thing all freakin' morning!

Hat tip: My sister ♥Debbie♥

Monday, October 12, 2009

Awards and Magic Hugs

On October 5th Glenn of Man Over Board gave me The Circle of Friends award. Thanks a million Glenn. You too have become a very good blogging buddy.

Here's what Glenn said about this award:

Awww...Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Anatomy Class

A classroom full of first year Veterinary students were participating in their first day of anatomy class. For the lecture, the professor begins by unveiling a dead cow under a white sheet laying on an operating table.

The professor tells the class “In Veterinary Medicine, there are two qualities you must possess as a doctor – the first of which is a strong stomach. You cannot, under any circumstance, be disgusted by anything involving an animal’s body.”

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Twin 454's

The twin 454s roared to life, prepared to consume hundreds of gallons of fuel. Zane and Sandee left the dock with hearts quickened by the prospect of the skyline of San Francisco appearing across their bow. Sandee was incredibly excited. It had been a long, exhausting week and she was looking forward to a relaxing and romantic couple of days. She had no idea, however, what Zane had in store for her. Yep. It was going to be a bumpy ride.

Economic Viruses

Government Virus – Nothing seems to get better, but all the elected officials say it’s getting better.

Political Virus – Doesn’t actually do anything, but you can’t get rid of it until the next election.

Econometrician Virus – Sixty percent of the economies infected will lose 17 percent of their GDP 12 percent of the time (+/- a 2% margin of error).

Friday, October 9, 2009

Little Johnny

Little Johnny is walking down the hall when he hears a noise from his parents room. He knocks on the door and asks his mom what’s going on. “Playing cards,” she replies. “Who’s your partner?” asked little johnny. “Your father!”

Content with his answer, Little Johnny walks further down the hall towards his room when he hears the same noise coming from his sister’s room.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Confessional

After a heavy night of drinking at the local bar, a drunk stumbles into a Catholic church and slowly makes his way into the confessional booth. There, the priest patiently awaits the man to begin his confession.

After a few minutes of silence, the priest politely taps on the window… nothing. The priest taps again and this time clears his throat a bit… still nothing. At this point the priest begins to lose his patience and bangs on the window.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Made In Heaven

One rainy Sunday afternoon, a young couple were on their way to their Church to get married. On the way there, their car lost control and slammed into a telephone pole – killing them both instantly.

The couple soon found themselves standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, welcoming them to Heaven. The young woman asks Peter if they could get married in Heaven, since their time on Earth was cut short. He replies that he’ll get back with them on that request.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

More Quotes

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Steven Wright
Bob Hope
George Burns

Monday, October 5, 2009

Awww...Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Humor Quotes

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. Christopher Morley

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Work Quotes

All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

All things are difficult before they are easy.
Thomas Fuller

Friday, October 2, 2009

Marriage Quotes

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
Katharine Hepburn

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
Robert Anderson

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Political Quotes

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
Lily Tomlin

No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
Abraham Lincoln